What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for 5 years. Why won't he divorce her? Should this be a deal breaker?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What is one thing which you cannot stop however hard you try?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Make Nazis afraid again!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Legion of 50 strong as Seahawks reveal Top 50 players in franchise history - Field Gulls

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How did the trans issue metastasize within just a decade from being a question of kindness and tolerance to a tiny minority to convulsing a whole society?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Dying Light: The Beast launches August 22 - Gematsu

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do White people love dogs more than humans?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority